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Monty Python and the Holy Grail
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Guard:
"What? Ridden on a horse?"
King Arthur: "Yes."
Guard: "You're using coconuts."
King Arthur: "You've got two empty halves of coconut
and you're bangin' them together!"
Guard:
"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"
King Arthur: "Not at all. They could be carried."
Guard: "What? A swallow carrying a coconut?"
King Arthur: "It could grip it by the husk."
Guard: "It's not a question of where it grips it.
It's a simple question of weight ratios. A five-ounce bird could not carry
a one-pound coconut."
Guard
2:
"It could be carried by an African Swallow."
Guard 1: "Oh, yeah, an African Swallow, maybe, but
not a European Swallow, that's my point."
Guard 2: "Oh, yeah, I agree with that."
King Arthur: "Will you ask your master if he wants
to join my court at Camelot."
Guard 1: "But then of course, African Swallows are
non-migratory."
Guard 2: "Oh, yeah."
Guard 1: "So they couldn't bring a coconut back,
anyway."
[King Arthur gives up and "rides" away]
Guard 2: "Wait a minute. Supposin' two swallows
carried it together."
Dead
Collector:
"Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!"
Old
Man:
"I'm getting better!"
Plague Peasant: "No, you're not, you'll be stone
dead in a moment."
Old Man:
"I feel happy! I feel happy!
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Page last updated 8/1/04 |