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Monty Python and the Holy Grail
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King
Arthur:
"Old woman!"
Peasant: "Man."
King Arthur: "Man, sorry. What knight lives in that
castle over there?"
Peasant: "I'm thirty-seven."
King Arthur: "What?"
Peasant: "I'm thirty-seven. I'm not old."
King Arthur: "Well, I can't just call you 'man.'"
Peasant: "You could say 'Dennis.'"
King Arthur: "I didn't know you were called 'Dennis.'"
Dennis: "Well, you didn't bother to find out, did
you?"
King Arthur: "I did say sorry about the 'old woman.'..."
(cont. from above)
King Arthur: "...but from behind you looked..."
Dennis: "What I object to is that you automatically
treat me like an inferior."
King Arthur: "Well, I am King."
Dennis: "Oh, King, eh? Very nice. And how'd you
get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist
dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
If there's ever going to be any progress..."
Woman: "Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here.
[noticing Arthur] Oh, how do you do?"
King Arthur: "How do you do, good lady. I'm Arthur,
King of the Britons. Whose castle is that?"
Woman: "King of the who?"
King Arthur: "The Britons."
Woman: "Who are the Britons?"
King Arthur: "Well, we all are. We are all Britons.
And I am your king."
Woman: "I didn't know we had a king. I thought we
were an autonomous collective."
Dennis: "You're fooling yourself. We're living in
a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes..."
Woman: "Oh, there you go. Bringing class into it
again."
Dennis: "But that's what it's all about! If only
people would realize..."
King Arthur: "Please, good people, I am in haste.
Who lives in that castle?"
Woman: "No one lives there."
King Arthur: "Then who is your lord?"
Woman: "We don't have a lord."
King Arthur: "What?"
Dennis: "I told you...."
(cont. from above)
Dennis:
"...We're an anarcho-cyndicalist commune. We take it in turns to
ask as a sort of executive officer for the week.
King Arthur: "Yes..."
Dennis: "But all the decisions of that officer have
to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting..."
King Arthur: "Yes, I see..."
Dennis: "...by a simple majority in the case of
purely internal affairs..."
King Arthur: "Be quiet!"
Dennis: "...but by a two-thirds majority in the
case of more major..."
King Arthur: "Be quiet! I order you to
be quiet!"
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