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Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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King: "Guards! Make sure the prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him."
Guard: "Not to leave the room, even if you come and get him."
King: No, no. Until I come and get him."
Guard: "Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room."
King: "No, no. You stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave."
Guard: "And you'll come and get him."
King: "Right."
Guard: "We don't need to do anything apart from just stop him entering the room."
King: "No, no. Leaving the room."
Guard: "Leaving the room. Yes."
King: "All right?"
Guard: "Oh, if-if-if-eh-if-if-if-eh-if-if-if-we-if..."
King: "Yes? What is it?"
Guard: "If-if-oh."
King: "Look, it's quite simple. You just stay here and make sure he doesn't leave the room. All right?"
Guard: "Oh, I remember. Can he leave the room with us?"
King: "No, no. You just keep him in here, and make sure--"
Guard: Oh, yes, we'll keep him in here, obviously. But if he had to leave and we were with him--"
King: "Just keep him in here--"
Guard: "Until you ore anyone else--"
King: "No, not anyone else, just me."
Guard: "Just you."
King: "Get back."
Guard: "Get back. Right, we'll stay here until you get back."
King: "And make sure he doesn't leave."
Guard: "What?"
King: "Make sure he doesn't leave."
Guard: "The prince?"
King: "Yes, make sure he doesn't leave--"
Guard: "Oh, yes, of course. I thought you meant him [points to other guard]. It seemed a bit daft, me having to guard him when he's a guard."
King: "Is that clear?"
Guard: "Oh, quite clear. No problems."
King: "Right." [he heads out the door, and the two guards start to follow him] "Where are you going?"
Guard: "We're coming with you."
King: "No, no. I want you to stay here and make sure he doesn't leave."
Guard: "Oh, I see. Right."

Clerk: "Oh Lord, bless thou this hand grenade, that with it though may'st blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy."

Clerk: "And the Lord spake, saying: 'First, shalt though take out the holy pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest through thy holy hand grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'"

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