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Monty Python and the Holy Grail
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King Arthur:
"One, two, five!"
Galahad: "Three, sir!"
King Arthur: "Three!"
Brother Maynard:
"It reads: 'Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea.
He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle
of A-a-a-a-a-gh..."
King Arthur: "What?"
Maynard: "The Castle of A-a-a-a-a-gh."
Bedevere: "What is that?"
Maynard: "He must've died while carving it."
Lancelot: "Oh, come on."
Maynard: "Well, that's what it says."
King Arthur: "Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't
bother to carve 'A-a-a-a-gh.' He'd just say it."
Maynard: "That's what's carved in the rock."
Galahad: "Perhaps he was dictating."
King Arthur: "Oh, shut up. Does it say anything
else?"
Maynard: "No, just...A-a-a-a-a-gh."
Bridgekeeper:
"Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer these questions
three ere the other side he see."
Lancelot:
"Ask me the questions, bridge keeper. I am not afraid."
Bridgekeeper: "What is your name?"
Lancelot: "My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot."
Bridgekeeper: "What is your quest?"
Lancelot: "To seek the Holy Grail."
Bridgekeeper: "What is your favorite color?"
Blue: "Right, off you go."
Bridgekeeper:
"Who approacheth the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions
three ere the other side he see."
Robin: "Ask me the questions, bridge keeper. I am
not afraid."
Bridgekeeper: "What is your name?"
Robin: "Sir Robin of Camelot."
Bridgekeeper: "What is your quest?"
Robin: "To seek the Holy Grail."
Bridgekeeper: "What is the capital of Assyria?"
Robin: "I don't know that! Aaaargh!" [he is
thrown into the Gorge of Death]
Bridgekeeper:
"What is your name?"
Galahad: "Sir Galahad of Camelot."
Bridgekeeper: "What is your quest?"
Galahad: "I seek the Grail."
Bridgekeeper: "What is your favorite color?"
Galahad: "Blue. No, yel...Aaaargh!" [he is
thrown into the Gorge of Death]
Bridgekeeper:
"What is your name?"
King Arthur: "It is Arthur, King of the Britons."
Bridgekeeper: "What is your quest?"
King Arthur: "To seek the Holy Grail."
Bridgekeeper: "What is the airspeed veolicty of
an unladen swallow?"
King Arthur: "What do you mean? African, or European
swallow?"
Bridgekeeper: "I don't know that!" [he is thrown
into the Gorge of Death]
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Page last updated 8/1/04 |